Friedrich Engels: Coastal Liberal Elitist

I'm not one to prank, but cartoonist Tom Tomorrow recently solicited his blog readers to help in a crusade against a witch-hunting Young Republican at UCLA (his original post and the call to action). The gist is that this astroturf organization, the Bruin Alumni Association, was offering cash prizes to rat out progressive instructors at UCLA, to prove that leftist professors had hijacked higher education. Tom thought it would be fun if we flooded their e-mail with faux denouncements of real or fake professors. Here is my contribution:

Hi, I'd like to report a leftist professor I had to take a class from at UCLA in the anthropology department, Professor Fred Engels. This guy is a classic hippie liberal Marxist. He was always spouting feminist garbage like, and I quote, "The modern individual family is founded upon the open or concealed domestic slavery of the wife." And don't get me started on the radical environmentalist junk he laid on us like this (and I quote again) "Let us not, however, flatter ourselves overmuch on account of our human victories over nature. For each such victory nature takes its revenge on us." He also said that the idea of personal property is a consequence of class society, as if it weren't a God-given right! And of course he tried to convince us that we are all just glorified monkeys. He said, "The variety of all living things and their adaptive features is now explainable with a few principles according to the theory of evolution." Man, I barely made it through that class. Put him on your list!

Sincerely,
John White

P.S. Where can I pick up the $100?

In retrospect my correct spelling and grammar probably gave me away.