The Number One Domestic Terror Threat

Is it the KKK? Is it right-wing extremists? Is it radical anti-abortion groups? Is it domestic Islamic extremists? Is it individuals like Timothy McVeigh?

No. The Number One domestic terror threat is much more dangerous than any of the above groups. They are worse than any previously know domestic terrorist group, even more dangerous than the NAACP. According to an FBI official who testified before a Senate comittee, the Number One domestic terror threat is... Environmental and Animal Rights activists!

While they do not have any history of actual violence, unlike the groups mentioned above, and show no signs of violence targeting human life, the FBI has observed "an escalation in violent rhetoric and tactics." The two worst terrorist groups, the Animal Liberation Front and Stop Huntington Animal Cruelty, aim to stop animal abuse by taking "direct action" to rescue animals and cause financial loss to animal abusers through damage and destruction of property.

Action must be taken immediately to stop these "eco-terrorists" before they destroy the very fabric of our American society.

It is believed that these groups receive most of their funding through "mainstream activists" in tax-exempt organizations. According to the FBI, "Just like Al Queda or any other terrorist organization, ELF and ALF cannot accomplish their goals without money, membership and the media." So the best way to stop this threat, the single greatest threat we have ever faced since gay marriage and the civil rights movement, is to avoid support of any activist group, because you never know if they might have secret ties to animal rights or environmental activism.

Just cutting off their direct support is not enough. We have to show them that it is not acceptable in American society to preserve the environment and stop animal cruelty. I recommend that all of my readers go home tonight in the least fuel efficient way possible, crank up the air conditioning, cook a nice veal steak, watch American Idol, and always remember to spend, spend, spend, because spending money is the most patriotic thing you can do.