Roundhouse Kick to Logic Itself!

Chuck Norris. The very name conjures up images of stilted acting in bad action TV shows and an entire universe of jokes. But, did you know the man (nay, legend!) is also a philosopher? Yes!

Though one can point to Cho's own psychotic behavior and our graphic slasher media as potential contributors to his deplorable murder spree, we must also hesitate to consider how we as a society are possibly contributing to the growth of these academic killing fields. I believe those who wield the baton of the secular progressive agenda bear significant responsibility for the escalation of school shootings.

(In my own defense, I haven't unsheathed my "Baton of the Secular Progressive Agenda +1" since the 2006 midterms.) I have to admit my own reflex was to point to "Cho's own psychotic behavior" in the wake of the Virgina Tech massacre, but after being touched by the wisdom of "The Norris," my silly secular progressive degenerate thought has been thoroughly crushed by his mighty fists of rhetoric! The font of wisdom continues to flow:

We teach our children they are nothing more than glorified apes, yet we don't expect them to act like monkeys. We place our value in things, yet expect our children to value people. We disrespect one another, but expect our children to respect others. We terminate children in the womb, but are surprised when children outside the womb terminate other children. We push God to the side, but expect our children to be godly. We've abandoned moral absolutes, yet expect our children to obey the universal commandment, ''Thou shalt not murder.''

Let's set aside for a moment that Chuck Norris is a glorified ape so hairy that it's a liability in a fight. Let's also set aside the fact that he has made a living making ultra-violent movies and TV, so that we may bask yet more in his magnificent thought:

If we are ever to restore civility in our land and our schools, we must turn back the clocks to a time when such shocking crimes didn't even exist – when we valued life and respected one another much more then we do today. We must use the Bible (humanity's blueprint for life and ''bluebook'' for value) to retrain our youth about theirs and others' value as children of God, made in His image.

One can hardly fault him for suggesting the Bible be used as our blueprint for a peaceful, respectful society. How far back are we going to have to turn back the clock in our country to get to the Paradisaical States of America that Chuck speaks of? The 70's? The 60's? The 40's? The 30's? The 20's? The 1890's? All the way back? Sorry to break it to you Chuck, but you're an idiot. Please don't hunt me down and kick me in the face.