Operation False Cognate

This past week the U.S. military, in joint operations with Iraqi forces, launched a massive air-based raid on Samarra, criticized by some as a large-scale photo opportunity. The attack was dubbed "Operation Swarmer." Unfortunately since the U.S. military now has no Arabic translators (all having been fired for being gay), and no one in command who has any knowledge of ethnic cuisine, it did not occur to them the possible confusion that this name might cause. The Iraqi forces misheard "Operation Swarmer" and believed they were taking part in "Operation Shawarma." As a result of this, the Iraqi troops showed up wearing grease-stained aprons and pushing vending carts. The results were tragic. The six insurgents that were discovered during the operation had no trouble dispatching the fast-food commandos, who were armed only with carving knives. The exhausted insurgents had no trouble finding lunch after the battle.